#Penn jillette into the trash it goes full
#Penn jillette into the trash it goes crack

I don't think I've ever been more proud of Americans. Dime Stories: Hate Lost Everywhere I looked on this beautiful, balmy Indian summer Saturday, people were celebrating peals of joy and happiness rang out everywhere in our city.Dime Stories: The Unbearable Whiteness of the G.O.P.As Penn explained, “Hey, the little fuckers work six shows a week.” I found out later that Penn and Teller don’t kill the rabbits-cheap or not, they actually treat them quite well.

Often they freeze right in the middle of the road and get creamed, which is kind of a dumb-fuck way to get killed. I love drawing their odd shape and when I spot one, the stillness of them is almost eerie. In the city where I live, you mostly see squirrels, though lately I’ve noticed a lot more rabbits. Even I, as a child had some of the Penn Jillette carny-trash in me.

#Penn jillette into the trash it goes full

I once sold her a baggie full of Cheerios by telling her they were “donut seeds.” She gave me a buck. Whenever I felt the need to get out of the doghouse with my mom, I’d draw her a rabbit or a bird and she would then become convinced of my better side long enough to get me out of the house and back on the street with my friends. They’re nasty little fuckers and territorial as hell. I saw one of our bunnies kick the holy dog-shit out of a wild rabbit that had come into the yard and attempted to eat some of his food. They were also not as gentle as you might think. As a kid, my sisters had them as pets and they got huge. And at every opportunity Penn relates it, with great relish and much embroidery to entertain all who are present, including me-the Sap who called FedEx. The “Tony Called FedEx” story was born and all of my friends know it. I swear I could hear him laughing his Newfie ass off all the way from Vegas. She asked me who told me this and I said all of my friends had told me, in fact, Penn… I’m not a mark.” And I added “Now don’t fuck around with me Nora. I’m not some fucking hick you can jerk-off like Dickie Dope. I started yelling, “I’m not a sucker, lady. The woman, Nora, assured me that there was no secret discount and that I was mistaken, which just infuriated me. I told them I wasn’t some douche-bag or a mark that I knew how this game was played and I wanted in on the discount, and to quit working my stick. That while they valued my business, their rates were their rates and everyone paid the same. I told them that I used FedEx almost everyday and that I should get the discount that my friends enjoy. So, like an asshole, I called FedEx and asked them if they thought I was a fucking mark. He surreptitiously emailed all of my friends to get them to go along with the gag and I believed them. He once staged an elaborate subterfuge to get me to believe that everyone we knew got a discount from Federal Express, except me. That’s a bad habit of mine believing Penn when he’s pulling my joint. “Rabbits are CHEAP,” Penn would explain, and I believed him. He is also one of the smartest people I’ve ever known with a searching intellect and endlessly inquisitive mind that wants to know the nuances of every single thing that interests him.įor years, Penn and Teller have had a bit where a rabbit winds up in a chipper and for years, Penn convinced me that they actually just threw the fucking rabbit into the chipper.

#Penn jillette into the trash it goes crack

Penn is full of funny traits and quirky observations one of the benefits of being his friend is, though we are polar opposites in some of our political beliefs, we never fail to crack each other up. Even twenty years ago in Vegas this was regarded as weird. It were as if the goddamn thing were radioactive. I spent a week zipping around Vegas with Penn on assignment from Playboy and it was a holy hoot watching people’s reactions to Pink Death. It was a Ford Bronco painted a color Penn invented, called “Stripper Inner Labia Pink.” So candy-colored pink was this car, that the guy at the body shop made Penn stand there and watch as they gave his formerly butch truck something like a hundred coats to get it the right blush of “Inner Labia Pink,” which is, “Stripper.” There is actually a paint-chip named Stripper. My pal Penn Jillette once owned a vehicle named Pink Death.